Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Sweet Potato Fries

Do you like sweet potato fries?

I do!

I like the way they taste, so I eat them.

What I mean by that is my liking them is not based on pretentiousness.  I could give a handful of clams if they are "healthy for you" and taste great.  Whenever I hear someone talk about how things are healthy and taste great I can't think of a single unhealthy thing that doesn't taste great/er.  Healthy is a terrible excuse to eat something, or it's really just another way of saying I'm more sophisticated than you are because I can cram this crap in my gullet with smile on my face.

I actually like them so I eat them and I would like to share with you a recipe that Mother MuskOx makes.

RECIPE:

Gather these spices:  corriander seed, cumin, curry, powdered garlic and ground ginger.

Next skin your taters with a KitchenAid peeler, or any other brand you might have.
Here is the part Mother MuskOx is great at, seasoning to taste.  I can hardly stand to add pepper without a measuring cup, but she doesn't hesitate to eyeball anything.  After you season them to taste drizzle a bit of olive oil all over and stir it up.

After you toss your spices on preheat your oven to 450F.  Then place your taters on a baking sheet.  This one has holes in it, I know you can't see them, but it does and they are magic.  This special baking sheet does something and makes the fries crispier than a plain sheet.  We tried a regular sheet because this one was dirty and were disappointed. I don't understand, we should have washed it.
 Put these in for about 15 minutes and then flip them.  Let them cook another 10 minutes or so, until they are crispy and before they completely char.  We like em' a little dark.  Again, you'll have to learn your own oven.


Alas, David Allen Coe-slaw, avocado, sweet potato fries, and catfish.
The cadillac of fish.
  

Coleslaw Co'sla' Coslawz or David Allen Coe-slaw



Coleslaw can make or break many-a-meal for me, especially when it comes to fish, chicken or any hot meat meal. I have become so fed up with lack luster trash that I'm hesitant to order it at any restaurant.  In fact I can't even think of a place I would go and order the coleslaw.  If it comes in a tub at the store the only reason I could think of buying it would be to throw at someone or to film a movie involving mock vomit.

In reality, I can rarely resist ordering coleslaw anywhere because I love it so much.  It tastes so good, when it's good, but it's rarely any good.  So, once again I have tried to do it myself, cementing my dissatisfaction with all other slawz.

If you think you got a recipe, let me have it. I'll try it, but if it sucks I'll spend the money to mail what I don't eat back to you because Mrs. MuskOx's composter doesn't accept bad slaw.

RECEIPE:

Gather these ingredients.

1 Fat Cabbage
Yellow Mustard 1 TABLEspoon
Mayonaise 1/4 Cup
Sugar 1 TABLEspoon
Apple Cider Vinegar 2 Tablespoons
Fresh chopped garlic
6-8 Cups shredded cabbage

When buying a cabbage make sure that it's not rotten, that's all there is to it.  Also, I'm cheap and cabbage is sold by the pound so you're best bet is to remove any leaves of the cabbage that are wilted or that you think you might remove after you get home (or after you've bought them).  That way you're not wasting your money.  Trimming produce in the store may make you feel like an old granny trying to make it on a fixed income, but the employees don't care.  The company doesn't care, as long as your happy you'll keep coming back, which means they're happy so DON'T BUY IT IF YOU'RE GOING TO THROW IT AWAY!

Now for the mustard, I like French's yellow mustard. It's a bit more at the store but I like the taste, and if you think it doesn't taste any different than the store brand go ahead and get that.  Just don't tell me how it tastes the same and costs less, cause it doesn't. 

I might suggest playing with the mustard, but one should never mess with the Mayo. I use Hellmann's because it's actually made in Hell, by the Devil himself and tastes like Heaven.  Again, if you like something else go for it, but I recently learned Kraft mayo is runny compared to Hellman's, and you won't find Dale Earnhardt Jr. on a Kraft jar of mayo. 

Why is he on the Hellman's jar you may ask?

Because nothing goes together like mayo and NASCAR, that's why!

Sugar, I use white.  If you have a beef with white refined delicious all American sugar get over yourself.

Vinegar, any will do, but garlic not so fast.  You need fresh garlic.  I peel a lot of cloves and grind them. Then I freeze them, because that minced garlic stuff you buy in a big jar has no flavour.  It's like spelling the word flavour without the "u". 

No flavour!

Now you need to shred your cabbage.  As you see here I have elected to demonstrate the way I used to make slaw with my old KitchenAid tater peeler, but wait what is that lurking behind the tater peeler?

That would be the blade to my other KitchenAid device.  The slicer shredder attachment which will make shredded splendor out of a head of cabbage, or your fingers, in no time flat. 

 You can use the tater peeler but I like to use this thing.


Ahh, shredded splendor!
Now you have two choices you can mix up all these ingredients before you add it to the shredded cabbage or you can add it right into the bowl.  As for me, I just add it into the bowl and flip on the KitchenAid mixer.  This helps push the water out of the shredded cabbage so your slaw is not dry.  You may have initially been concerned that my sauce recipe was lacking in liquidity, but the majority of slaw liquid comes from the broken cabbage cells.

The mixer is on the first setting, I just didn't bother to increase my shutter speed.
Finally I like to chill the slaw before eating it, and top it off with a bit of Sriracha, or rooster sauce if you please.  This meal consisted of David Allen Coe-Slaw, sweet potato fries, avocado and catfish.  It's the cadillac of fish!

References Cited:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coleslaw

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Greek Yogurt

THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED AS OF 1/7/2012 SEE BELOW:

EDIT
In the pictures below I recommend using an old shirt for straining.  I have finally invested in a yard of unbleached muslin from the store (Hobby Lobby or Jo Anne Fabrics).  When buying muslin go for the heavier coarser stuff that is twice as expensive as the lighter stuff. It runs 5.99 a yard, but take a coupon and get a yard for way less.  The advantage of the muslin is that it's size makes tying it off much easier, it's easier to clean than the shirt and the larger weave lest the whey come out much faster than the tight knit of the shirt.
END EDIT

Are you tired of store bought yogurt that has the consistency and flavour of snot? 
Well, I've got the solution.

My Greek Yogurt!

I think a more appropriate name would be strained yogurt, because there is nothing "Greek" about it.

Before we get started let me tell you that I hated yogurt until I tried plain Greek Gods yogurt.  That stuff with fruit at the bottom always reminded me of dog vomit, so I was opposed to it. Next, my foray into vanilla yogurt was another flop, I think because it tasted nothing like vanilla anything.  Then it was on to fat free, not only was there no flavour the texture was like runny Jell-O, but then I tried the Greek Gods and was hooked.  Then next step of my relationship of yogurt was to figure out how to make it myself and after many YouTube videos and a couple trial batches and a tasting by the official MuskOxMaven Test Piggies, I present to you my recipe.

FIRST A FEW NOTES

TEMPERATURE IS MOST IMPORTANT IN THE MAKING OF YOGURT SO DON'T STRAY FROM MY INSTRUCTIONS

ALSO USE CLEAN DISHES WHEN MAKING YOGURT, YOU DON'T NEED TO STERILIZE JUST MAKE SURE THEY ARE CLEAN.

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE COST OF MAKING THIS I ESTIMATE IT TO BE AROUND 4 USD EVEN IF YOU CAN NOT GET YOUR MILK ON SALE. A GALLON WILL MAKE JUST UNDER 2 QUARTS OF YOGURT.  A 24 OZ TUB AT THE GROCERY WILL RUN JUST UNDER 4 USD.

IF YOU ADD UP ALL THE TIME IT TAKES TO ACTUALLY HANDLE THE YOGURT WHILE MAKING IT YOU ARE LOOKING AT LESS THAN AN HOUR

Now for the recipe!

Ingredients:
2 Cups Nonfat Dry Milk
1 gallon Whole Milk

First you need to get a gallon of WHOLE MILK.

That's right whole milk, don't try to skip the fat factor, or you'll end up with Elmer's Glue yogurt.  It's not as bad as store bought snot, but it's easier to just get glue/snot from the store.

Now that you have your whole milk pour it into pot and bring it up to 160F.  Keep it at that temperature for 10 minutes.  Keep stirring so the milk doesn't burn to the bottom of the pan. This won't affect the flavour, but it keeps cleanup to a minimum.
Now that you've heated your milk, you have two options.  You can either let it sit out on the counter until it reaches 100-110F or you can use an ice bath.  The first time I made the yogurt, I let it sit out on the counter, it takes forever, so if you've go the ice use it.  It takes about 5 minutes to cool the milk down.
Then next step is to add 2 cups of nonfat dried instant milk. If you don't make a gallon, you can do the math.
After you stir your milk in you can add a bit of your starter culture (already made yogurt), which you can buy at the store or use a couple (2-3) of TABLEspoons from your last batch.  I started my culture with Greek Gods, but since then I have just been using the batch before. This is the last of my last batch.
Now you're ready for fermentation. I use this fermentation chamber pictured here for my making of yogurt.  It consist of a cooler, a heating pad and a towel.  The towel is not necessary.  I poured my liquid into a KitchenAid stand mixer bowl, because my other pot will not fit in the cooler.  I then covered the bowl with plastic wrap. The plastic wrap is handy, because you can poke your thermometer through right into the yogurt to monitor the temperature.  

I know that my heating pad will keep the temperature between 100-110F so I don't worry about over heating. If you get the temperature up over 120F or so you'll kill the bacteria from your starter culture and your yogurt will not turn out. You may want to keep an eye on your fermentation vessel the first time through.  Since my vessel is tested I just close it and turn the pad on, I don't worry about the temperature.  You can also use an oven if yours is fancy and will keep a constant temperature. You'll just have to find out for yourself, I know my oven is not to be trusted with yogurt.

After you close your vessel you let it sit for at least 14 hours.  I usually do mine overnight, and my heating pad will only stay on for an hour, but the cooler will keep the temperature up so there is no need to worry. I usually let mine go for 14 hours, longer won't hurt.

You can also let your yogurt sit at room temperature, but this will probably take forever. I use the vessel, if you decide to let it sit at room temperature let me know how it turns out.
Ah, 14 hours later.

Now you have two options, if you like runny yogurt you can stop now or you can strain your yogurt so it is thick and creamy.  I don't like snot, so I strain mine.  If you like snot you go right ahead and stop now. As for me and my house we will strain our yogurt.

You will need a colander, and a pot to put it in. You will also need a piece of cloth to line the colander with so your yogurt doesn't run through the holes.  I use an old shirt I have cut up (I cut the armpits off and just used the mid part of the shirt). Make sure you rinse it out well before you use it, so you don't get laundry detergent in your yogurt.  You will also see a bowl with canned goods in it.  I'll get to that shortly.
Line the colander with the shirt and put it in the pot. Now take your yogurt and pour it in the shirt. You may also want to taste your yogurt to satisfy your curiosity, but you've probably already done that by now.  To strain you can simply cover this with a lid and set it in the refrigerator, but that will take a longer time that using a weight to push the water out.
 To use a weight bundle up your yogurt in the shirt. I used a piece of string for this.
Then put your weight on top. Place in the refrigerator for 5- 6 hours. This allows time for the yogurt to strain and time for it to cool down.
After straining you can see all the whey in the KitchenAid bowl (about 2 QUARTS).  You can look up recipes for what to do with the whey if you like. That is for another time, but don't throw it away just yet.
After untying the yogurt you will notice it is similar to a big hunk of cheese. That is because you pressed all the whey out. NOTE: A dark shirt is better than a white one, becase when you HAND wash it you can tell if you get the yogurt off of it.
 So to add the whey back in just use a mixer of any sort. I use my KitchenAid, again any mixer will work. Start with a small amount of whey.  I start by adding a half cup back and turning the mixer on.  Depending on how thick you like your yogurt you might add more or you might add less.  I lean toward the less.
Now, transfer to your storage container and you're done.
I get just under 2 quarts of yogurt from a gallon of milk.
Let me know if you have questions, or if you actually use my instructions.

Nutritional information can be calculated at CalorieCount.com by putting in your ingredients. Serving size is 1/4 Cup, containing 90 KCal.

References Cited:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jzXUpnz5kc
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strained_yogurt